2067
by Sarahaku
Summary: Its the year 2067. Trolls are failed science experiments. Now they're normal citizens, which humans refuse to accept. A human girl named Tavra has never disliked trolls, which has caused her trouble with her ex-boyfriend, who's anti-troll. But only when she becomes close with a teenage troll named Gamzee does she really understand how hateful people can be. I don't own homestuck.
1. Tavra

**Hello! :3 This story is in an AU future with several species swaps and at least one gender swap. Feel free to ask me any questions, offer ideas, and critique!**

Tavra stared levelly at her mother. "I don't want the legs anymore. I want them off," she said flatly. Mrs. Nitram frowned.

"What? Why would you want your prosthetics off?"

"Because _he _got them for me. Even if he got them from his dad, I don't want anything he gave me," she choked, biting back tears. Mrs. Nitram sighed and walked over to her teenage daughter.

"I know you're upset. But regardless of what happened, having those legs has helped you out. And you know we can't afford a new set just because you don't want the ones Equius got from his dad's lab." Tavra squeezed her eyes shut, two tears escaping either eye.

"I don't want them. When I look at them, I feel like I owe him. I want to give them back," she said shakily. "I'll use my wheelchair again." Mrs. Nitram shook her head.

"I don't want you giving up your prosthetics, Tavra. No matter how upset you are." Tavra frowned, then lowered her head and wandered off to her room. She picked up her computer and turned it on. The screen projected up in front of her, flickering slightly. She couldn't afford a newer laptop, so the holograms were slightly fault. She tapped the screen, her finger going through the projection, opening up her messaging application. Thank God. Nepeta was online.

She tapped the keyboard on the projection module.

**AT: hEY NEPETA**

**AC: :33 *ac gives at a giant bear hug* im really sorry about today tavra!  
AC: 33:**

**AT: iT'S NOT REALLY YOUR FAULT,,, **

**AC: :33 well i wish i would have noticed that Equius was acting strange and stopped him befurr he got out of hand**

**AT: i DON'T KNOW IF THAT WOULD HAVE HELPED**

**AC: :33 im so fur-ious!**

**AC: :33 an anti-troll league? thats pawful!**

Tavra sighed and flopped down on her bed, the computer lying on her stomach. She was too exhauseted to cry at this point. Equius was a boy at her and Nepeta's school that the two had known for a long time. Tavra and Equius had ended up dating for a while, which was great while it lasted. Equius protected her and cared from her. He even got his dad to donate a pair of prosthetic limbs so that Tavra could get out of her wheelchair. She glanced at them now. The smooth white metal, brushed with steel glinted. She shuddered.

Then Equius started acting strange. After a while, Tavra realized he had joined an anti-troll group and had been hurting innocent trolls. Tavra was a trolls-rights activist and was infuriated. She had broken up with him immediately. But it still hurt. She couldn't believe Equius was so closed-minded.

The "Trolls," as they were called, were genetic anomalies, failed experiments from fifty years ago. They were supposed to be immune to disease, which didn't work. They were basically humans, except for their strange new features. They had began multiplying. Even though trolls were theoretically "accepted" into society, there were several people that still showed racism towards the grey skinned, yellow eyed, horned people. There were a few trolls at Tavra's school but they avoided the humans at all costs. Tavra didn't blame them.

"Message from Eq-ui-us," her computer said. Tavra groaned loudly, then opened it. She still loved Equius. But she knew she didn't want to date someone that was racist like that.

** CT: D- Tavra, please. I apologize.  
**

Tavra stared at the flickery screen for a while before she slowly typed out an answer, typing each letter deliberately.

**AT: bUT YOU WON'T LEAVE THE GROUP**

** CT: D- Tavra the e%pirements are going to revolt**

** AT: rEVOLT? sURE, eQUIUS, yOU'RE BEING AN IDIOT**

** CT: D- Tavra can we please just a%eppt this as a difference? You know that I love you.**

** AT: i TOLD YOU, i'M DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS, **

** AT: bYE, EQUIUS,**

Tavra angrily slammed down the power switch on her computer and set it on the floor next to her. She defeatedly decided to go out for a walk. Maybe a walk would make her feel better about keeping her prosthetics. She wandered out of her housing complex, down the elevator and onto the street. Outside the air was crisp. Cars flew past, hovering a bit off the ground.

"Good morning, citizens," the streetlamps said. "Today is March 30th, Two-thousand and sixty-seven. It is now eleven hours. The estimated temperature for today is sixty-eight degrees. It will be sunny, with perhaps light showers. Thank you."

Tavra wandered down the street. A worker was fixing the air filtrations that were hidden amongst the flower gardens. Tall, white housing complexes lined the street. Once she turned, she was on a street with smaller buildings made of various metals. Some were so old they were made of bricks. They all contained some sort of shop. There was a book shop, a coffee shop.

She sighed, though the warm air cheered her slightly. She looked both ways, and crossed, seeing that no hover cars were coming. She went into a coffee shop. A few people were lazing in chairs, drinking paper cups of coffee. Tavra went to the Barista-Module and punched in an order for a normal iced coffee. She swiped her card, removing four-hundred credits.

The machine dropped a paper cup, which it poured coffee into. "Enjoy," it said mechanically. Tavra took the cup and sat down at an empty table, hunching over her cup. She sipped at it, watching people walk past outside.

She'd come here before several times with Equius, but she didn't really want to think about that. She prayed he would stop and things would go back to normal.

"Hey! Leggo of me!" Tavra turned around. At the front of the store was two human workers who huddled around someone. The person pushed them away. It was a troll. He tried to squirm out of their grasp. Tavra frowned.

"You're not welcome here, ash-face," the worker hissed, gripping the boys arm. The boy glared at him.

"Then let me leave," he hissed, "And I won't come to this motherfucking place any more, alright?" The workers obviously did not take suggestions from trolls and dragged him towards the exit. Tavra bit her lip, wanting to say something. She didn't know what to say. The boy was thrown out of the coffee shop, onto the ground. Tavra scowled at the workers. She got up and went to the Barista-Module, and punched in an order for a plain coffee. Then she marched outside.

"Hey, are you, uh, are you okay?" She asked, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. The troll stared at her.

"What do you want?" He said carefully. Tavra offered him the coffee. "Did you all up and motherfucking poison this, sis?" Tavra shook her head, but the boy smirked and took it from her, standing up. Tavra now had a chance to look at him. He was extremely tall, and had a sloping posture. His hair was slightly long and messy. He had long horns that stuck up from the top of his head. His face was painted white, and he smiled lazily, his eyes half-lidded. "Thanks, sis. You're one of the good ones, then?" Tavra stammered a bit. "Thanks," he repeated, and shook her hand, then wandered off.

'Uh… goodbye," Tavra said quietly. "Uh… wait!" The boy turned around. "Please… please be careful! Th-there's a lot of anti-trolls around here!" The boy crossed his arms and grinned.

"I can take care of myself. Just didn't really motherfucking prove it a minute ago." He waved to her and began to walk away again. Tavra bit her lips together.

"Huh," she said, under her breath, watching him walk away..

***This is a bit of a note on the way you'll see Equius behave in this story:***

**Unlike in the canon, Equius has zero respect for Gamzee. This is because like in the story, he has an obsession with the physical traits people have. Instead of the hemospectrum, since he is human, he is instead obsessed with being a human. Since trolls in this society are considered "less" Equius shows a lot of dislike towards trolls, as mentioned earlier. Anyway, thanks for reading!**


	2. Coffee

**The amount of followers already is amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

Tavra opened up her schoolpad, sitting in the front of class with Nepeta. She pressed the _History _icon, and her lesson opened up. "_Look at teacher" _the computer tablet instructed. Tavra wished she could look at the teacher. Instead her eyes kept darting to the left, where Equius was sitting two rows behind. Even with his normal, cracked sunglasses on, she could tell he was staring fixatedly at her. She frowned and hunched over her tablet, staring at the prompt to look up at her teacher.

A pop quiz flashed up on her screen. Oh, geez. She hoped it wasn't anything that would prove she hadn't listened to a single word the teacher had said. It all was stuff she could answer. Not really learning from her mistake, she submitted her answer, received a ninety, then went back to spacing out.

At lunch, she sat with Nepeta and a few other girls. Tavra ignored them, reading the same question on her schoolpad several times, until she gave up and put her homework away. Nepeta slid a sealed plastic cup of ice cream over to her, having come back from the line that always formed in front of the Menu. Tavra frowned. "You didn't have to get me anything. I'm not really hungry." Nepeta pushed the ice cream forward.

"C'mon. I didn't stand in the frozen food Menu for ten minutes just so you wouldn't take it." Tavra sighed and accepted the gift from her friend. Tavra glanced up in front of the machine, which was a larger version of the Barista-module. There was a row of them each offering separate types of food. As Nepeta had said, the lines were pretty long.

"Thanks, Nepeta," she said, sliding a small bite off her spoon. Tavra stared blankly across the room. A troll girl was being kicked out of the seat she'd sat down in because some humans wanted it. Normally, Tavra didn't always notice these things, since they happened with such frequency. But lately, she guessed, she was extra sensitive to it. Otherwise she probably wouldn't have bought that boy that coffee the other day.

That boy. Didn't he look about her age? Yeah, he did, she realized. She stood up, possessed with the sudden desire to see if he went to school here. A lot of trolls didn't go to school. They had their own "classes" that they taught each other. Though it wasn't often that a troll would be harmed, it was certainly a reason to avoid going to a place where humans swarmed around. Tavra knew the few that did come came to prove that it was their right and they were going to use it. Wouldn't the boy that had walked into a shop in the heart of a human town have that kind of mindset?

Tavra wandered around the cafeteria, scanning each table. Her eyes fell on a table in the back, where a few trolls were sitting silently together. None of them looked like the boy she had met.

_That's a shame_, she thought, though she wasn't sure what made her consider it a shame. She plopped back down next to Nepeta, stirring the melting contents of her ice cream cup. "Where you looking fur someone?" Nepeta asked. Tavra shook her head.

"Not really."

Tavra swiped her hair out of her eyes as she sat at the coffee shop. She wasn't sure what made her come back here after school, but she did. Maybe it was her strange new determination to see that troll boy again. She'd never talked to a troll before him. She wondered if it was a selfish curiosity to be able to talk to one, to be able to pry into what their life was like. She didn't bother dismiss the idea, because she would only be denying the truth. She sipped at her coffee.

She had nearly drained the cup and was starting to pack up her schoolpad, which she hadn't done much work on when the door jingled open. It was the troll boy. She bit her lip, frowning and furrowing her brow. Why would he come back? He marched up to the Barista-Module before he was harassed by the workers, and after a while tossed out. While sitting on the pavement, he noticed her and waved to her. She stood up and walked outside, then hovered over him.

"What're… y-you doing here?" She asked. He smiled easily, jumping up with ease.

"Same thing I do every day," he said. "Try to get a coffee and get kicked out on my ass." Tavra stared at him.

"Uh, why would you do that?"

"Because someday," he drawled, "those motherfuckers are gonna give in and let me buy something from them."

"W-why would you want that? They tr-treat you terribly!"

"Because I want to prove I can." Tavra was quiet, letting his words sink in. "Hey, sis, I never got your name."

"It's T-Tavra." He nodded.

"That's a pretty cute name," he said with a grin. He offered his hand. She hesitantly took it. It was warm and calloused, and he had a strong grip as he shook her hand. "My name's Gamzee." She smiled sheepishly. "Hey, I gotta get going. Will you be here tomorrow?"

"I… I don't know, uh, maybe," Tavra choked, flustered. "I could just b-buy you another coffee if you'd like." Gamzee shook his head.

"That's not the point. The point is that I up and get one and they don't stop me. It was really motherfucking nice of you to get me one yesterday, though." He started to walk off. "See you tomorrow, I hope."

Tavra swallowed. He hoped? She watched him walk off.

"Tavra," a voice came behind her. "Was that troll harassing you?" _Oh shit. _

"No, Equius," Tavra snapped. She spun around to look at him. "What are you doing? Following me?" He hastily shook his head.

"No, of course not," he said. "I was walking home and saw you outside the shop. I was going to mind my own business because I knew I am not your most desired company lately, but I was worried about you." Tavra groaned and stomped off.

She thought about Gamzee. It was strange that as soon as Equius was starting to exit her life, the boy was entering it. Maybe they would become friends. "Maybe you should get t-to know what his last name is," she snapped to herself, Besides, as much as she _wanted _trolls to be considered equal, they weren't. Just talking to Gamzee was already stirring up some attention. It was dangerous to try and befriend a troll.

But that sure as hell wasn't going to stop her from trying, she decided.


	3. Gamzee

**I feel like there'd still be microwaves in fifty-four years. Microwaves are pretty nice.**

Gamzee Makara takes a deep breath, and opens his eyes, rolling around a bit before pulling himself up off the couch and into the kitchen. His brother is cursing over near the microwave, shaking his hand out. Gamzee laughs. His brother turns to glare at him. A microwavable meal was spilled over the counter. Gamzee kicked empty soda bottles and other detritus out of his way. "Where are you going?" Karkat snapped.

"School." Karkat snorted.

"The fuck for? You're gonna get your ass handed to you." Gamzee shrugged.

"Cause I up and feel like it, y'know?"

"No. I don't know." Karkat shook his head. "You crazy fucker." Gamzee grinned at his older sibling.

"What's for breakfast?" Karkat slid the now half empty microwave macaroni and cheese over to him.

"I was gonna eat it but fuck it, you can have it." Gamzee took the plate without hesitation, swallowing mouthfuls of the stuff into his mouth. Gamzee looked at his watch, though he was pretty sure it didn't count the seconds correctly.

"What time does that school thing start?"

"How the hell should I know?" Karkat snapped. "What's wrong with those little troll tutors you got? You have some sort of death wish?" Gamzee shrugged.

"I think I'll go to school now." Karkat shook his head as an answer. Gamzee strode out of the house with a spring in his step, shoving his hands into the pocket of his oversized jeans, which had crudely painted white spots on them.

He had a very good reason, as far as he was concerned. He knew that Karkat would laugh at him. Maybe he'd tell him later. Gamzee wasn't very good at not spilling every last bit of thought that entered his head.

There was a very nice girl on the human side of town. Well, maybe she wasn't really nice, he didn't really know. She was nice to him, so he assumed she was probably pretty nice in general. She was a human with tan skin, and her shining, brown hair cut off one half of her head, so she had a sort of mohawk thing that flopped over the other half.

Gamzee had talked to her three times. The first time, she'd bought him a coffee. The second time, they talked about coffee. And the third time was yesterday. Gamzee had gone into the coffee shop in the heart of the human metropolis that was north of his run-down neighborhood. He had done this every day for the past three weeks. One day, he met the girl. The next day she was there again, and he learned her name was Tavra. He had hoped she'd be back the next day. She was. She smiled sympathetically at him.

"I g-guess you didn't get y-your coffee today, uh, again," she stammered. She never made eye contact, she was usually staring at the ground, or at his shoes, or at her hands. He shrugged.

"Eh, someday, you know?" He turned. "Gotta go."

'Uh… but," she trailed off but seemed to be put on the spot by the fact that she now had the boy's attention. "Wh-where… where do you always g-go? You always… uhh… you always go as soon as you get kicked out."

"Well, sis, you gotta understand that a troll brother like me doesn't wanna hang around humans _too _long. You gotta know they aren't all as motherfucking cool as you." A sort of blush tinged the girls cheeks that made him laugh. "Maybe sometime we'll be able to hang for real, you know? But I gotta split before I get motherfucking seen by any anti-trolls."

Gamzee now thought fondly of the short, stuttery girl. Was it normal to be all up and in love with some one after talking to them about coffee for three days? Either way, Gamzee was totally in love with that motherfucking cutie. And he was going to school today because he was sure he'd see her there. And theoretically, it wasn't allowed for antis to harass trolls at schools.

Theoretically, it wasn't allowed for antis to harass trolls ever. It didn't stop anybody.

The whole humanity thing was like some cool kids party that the trolls had just come and showed up at halfway through the whole thing, wasn't it? Gamzee realized after a while that he had no idea how to actually _get _to the school He'd never _been _there, he'd really never wandered much further than the coffee shop. After a while, he followed a few feet behind a student-y looking motherfucker and got to the building. He wandered through the sliding glass doors, into a big entrance hall, which was littered with humans. Gamzee avoided them as best he could.

"Shit is that a new troll?"

"They just keep coming don't they?"

"Stop it, you two."

"What? This school is filling up with those weirdos." Gamzee ignored the conversation he heard and decided to look for Tavra. He moved out of the hallway and into a new one, which was filled with more humans and one or two trolls. None of which were his sis. After a while he felt a hand on his shoulder that made him jump. A tall man was behind him.

"Excuse me, young man," he said, his voice dripping with annoyance and general dislike for Gamzee. "Are you new here?"

"Yeah, it's my first time in this whole school thing. What about it?" The man gave him a hard stare.

"You can't just come in and start going to school."

"I can't?"

"No, you have to actually be registered as a student," the man said with his same sarcastic tone. "And _then _you have places you have to go."

"Oh, alright!" Gamzee felt a bit better that it wasn't just troll racism, but a real rule. Gamzee was sent to go deal with a snippy human receptionist who cut off his sentences and ignored the ones she didn't interrupt. She shoved a piece of paper in his face.

"Your schedule." She turned her back to him. Gamzee didn't see how the strange little sheet littered with phrases and symbols that didn't make much sense was going to help him. He squinted at it, realizing that their were times and room numbers on it. "Cool," he muttered, and sauntered out.

He went in circles for quite a while, and was late to his first class, which was apparently not allowed here. When the trolls taught each other, any motherfucker could come and go as he pleased- even the teacher. The humans sure did like their rules.

After three classes, he got a hang of this whole school thing. As long as he listened to the teacher and didn't speak up or make a big deal out of the fact that he was there, a troll, in the back of the room, things were pretty chill.

He sat down in the back of his next class like the other two trolls. He smiled at them, but the ignored him. Gamzee frowned, not approving of their hostility towards each other and him. If a brother could count on his own kind, who could he count on?

"G-Gamzee?" Gamzee looked up from his schoolpad. He was enthralled with the thing. He'd never had something as high tech- his computer at home was ten years old and hardly worked so he never used it, and Karkat's television was some sort of antique from the twenty's ("Yes, it hangs on the fucking wall. No, there's no projector. The screen _is _the projector. Does it look like a fucking hologram? They didn't _have _holograms in twenty-twenty, you retard.") The schoolpad was pretty motherfucking cool as far as electronics Gamzee had. He looked up from it.

"Uh… wh-what're you doing here, Gamzee?" The girl glanced around, then turned her back to Gamzee, as if she didn't want to have anyone see that she was talking to him. Gamzee understood why she wouldn't want anyone to up and see her with him, since they might bother her about it. It still made him feel a bit bad, though. He ignored the bad feeling for his excitement that she was talking to him.

"Getting my school on, Tavvy!"

"W-well, I… I see that," she whispered. "B-but I thought you were afraid… uh, of being… you know, seen and st-stuff." Gamzee shrugged.

"Yeah well the curb isn't any place to try and get to know a sis."

"W-wait you're here…," she trailed off, and swallowed, then turned back towards him, "You're here because of me?"

"This place is pretty motherfucking wicked," he said simply.


	4. Her Kind, His Kind

**I'll have a note of who's talking from now on when the view changes.**

**BTW- I'm speechless about how many followers I've gotten! Thanks a bunch**

**Tavra**

Tavra's voice was caught in her throat. She had no idea what she would say if it wasn't, though. She had a hard enough time talking to new people, but Gamzee was in a whole new field of new people. Tavra had a habit of stuttering like crazy when she was trying to talk to anyone except Nepeta, Equius, or her mother. And now she had this new boy. This new, troll boy, that she couldn't read. She wasn't that good to begin with at telling what people were thinking and usually had to make herself look like an idiot by asking for them to explain what they said. But when she tried to understand Gamzee it was like trying to read a book written in some sort of code.

"Well if you don't wanna be seen with me I suggest not staring at me like I have two heads," Gamzee said, not unkindly, winking. Tavra turned her head quickly in embarrassment. She wanted to be near him. She wanted to sit with him, and she didn't want him to think that she was afraid to do so. She wanted to be his friend and she wanted to be brave enough that she didn't care what other people thought. Cautiously, she sat in front of him. A grin split across his face. She tried not to look back at him too much, her heart pounding. She didn't want to get the antis on her case. Or worse, on his. What if they started bothering him for trying to be nice to her? She shuddered, starting to want to scamper to the opposite side of the room.

"Pssst." Tavra glanced back at him, then turned back to stare fixatedly at the lesson on her school pad. "_Psss-ssss-ssss-sssss-ssst Tavra-a-a-a_."

"Gamzee," she whispered, "y-y-you can get in tr-tr-trouble if you talk in c-c-class." She bit her lips. "Uh… I… we can… uh… we can talk after class okay? We have lunch next." She swallowed. 'If Nepeta doesn't m-mind maybe, uh, you could sit with us… if, you know, that's okay with Nepeta." She was torn between being polite to her new friend and not getting them noticed by the antis.

Why did he have to show up at school? God, she didn't want him to be here. It was dangerous. And confusing. Really, really confusing. Was she mad at him?

"Really? That's cool! You're the best, Tavvy!" She couldn't be mad at him. She just worried. "Oh, sorry. I'll get my quiet on now."

A few times Tavra turned back to look at Gamzee, but he was staring, enraptured by the science video on his schoolpad. Tavra turned back, shakily. Argh, he confused her so much! And he wasn't even doing anything! He just… showed up.

At the end of class Gamzee hovered near her as she packed up her things. She was all too aware of the filthy looks it earned the two of them. She swallowed, feeling even more conflicted. Twitchily she smiled. "Uh… let's go."

"Something up, Tav?"

"N-no,' Tavra said. She tended to try to lie about her feelings. And Tavra was also a terrible liar, so it didn't tend to work out for her. But Gamzee just smiled and shrugged dismissively, as though he didn't want to bother her about it. She relaxed slightly, though she was still struggling to keep calm.

She lead Gamzee to their lunch table. Nepeta sat, and smiled, waving enthusiastically. Tavra waved back. "Hey, Nepeta. This is… this is… uh… G-Gamzee. Can he… uh… sit with us today?" Nepeta glanced at Gamzee, then scanned his figure.

"Oh… sure," she said slowly. She was obviously uncertain as well, but she smiled just the same. "Hiya, Gamzee! I'm Nepeta! Are you a friend of Tavra's?" Gamzee nodded.

"Sure am." Tavra wasn't quite sure what to make of his answer, so sat down and opened her lunch box. "Nice to up and meet ya, Nepeta." Nepeta glanced at Tavra, but when they met eyes, she smiled. Tavra couldn't tell if she was upset with Tavra or not.

They didn't talk too much, which made Tavra grow more nervous. She talked to Nepeta about the usual things; shows, videos games, and scheduling roleplaying sessions. Gamzee was content to sit and listen, and smiled at Tavra several times, flustering her further.

"See you later, Gamzee!" Tavra said, waving to the boy as he walked off to his next class.

"Yeah, see you!" Nepeta called. The troll smiled and waved, then walked off, his hands in his pockets. Nepeta turned to Tavra. She was expected a lecture but instead she got a sly grin. "Are you and him…," she wiggled her eyebrows. Tavra blushed.

"I… uh, don't know wh-what you're talking about."

"Are you _da-a-a-ating_?"

"No!" Tavra snapped defensively. Nepeta giggled.

"I'm just teasing! Don't so worked up," she purred. Tavra's face was hot, but she smiled good-naturedly and headed off towards her next class.

She stopped at her locker on the way. As she went to pull a book out someone kicked it closed. She wrenched her hand away nervously, then spun around, stifling a cry. "Hey, kid," someone snapped. She looked up. It was a tall, male troll. He wore glasses, but one lens was shaded, giving him a stange, (slightly frightening) appearance. He frowned at her, combing some of the hair behind his pronged horn with his fingers. "What're you doing hanging out with that troll boy?"

"U…uh… he's… my," Tavra swallowed, "Friend," she squeaked. The boy frowned, leaning closer and looking at her.

"I don't trust you," he snapped. "We leave _your _kind alone, so you better do the same," he hissed. "And really, I'm _helping _you. You know what kinda trouble you can get in trying to cross the line between our races?" Tavra swallowed. "A hell of a lot," the boy drawled. Tavra shuddered. The boy grinned menacingly, then walked away. Tavra stared. She really hadn't expected such negative attention so fast.

She was scared, and confused. But something was nagging her in the back of her head. Some bothersome little conscience that was probably going to get her hurt. _Don't give up. _


	5. Stubborn

**Gamzee**

"How as your first day of school?" Karkat asked, his voice filled with sarcasm. Gamzee hovered over his brother, who was watching old "CDs" on his television (because hell if that thing could pick up the same kind of signals as the holographic televisions.)

"Tavra asked me to sit next to her at lunch!"

"Who the fuck's Tavra?" Oh. Right.

"She's this really motherfucking sweet girl I met." Karkat paused his movie and turned to give Gamzee an exasperated look.

"You went to school. Human school. Over some _girl_. Does she even know that you like her?"

"Aw, man, bro, how did you know I up and liked her?" Karkat shook his head as an answer. "Nah, I don't think she does."

"Since when do you know any girls, anyway?"

"When I went to the coffee shop I met her! She was so motherfucking nice," he said dreamily, smiling at the thought. "She bought me a coffee."

"Wait, wait, wait. Are we talking about a fucking _human _here?"

"Sure are." Karkat dropped his remote control.

"I knew you were a fucking idiot, but I always figured you had a _grain of fucking sense!" _Gamzee frowned.

"Hey, brother, it's cool. Tavra's not gonna motherfucking turn on me. Maybe you could meet her."

"No," Karkat snapped. "No. No. You're such a retard, Gamzee. It's bad enough you think it's okay to go to fucking human-opolis but then you wanna go and get tangled up with some fucking human bitch?"

"She's not a bitch!" Gamzee cried defensively. "She's the sweetest motherfucking thing I've ever met!" Karkat shook his head.

"So you go to human school to stalk her around."

"You make it sound like I'm getting my creep on towards her."  
"You _are_, you fucking numbskull."

"Aw, bro."

"Don't give me the _aw, bro _shit. You know what? I know I'm never gonna get you to smell the coffee on this one. So if you wanna get your entrails handed to you, then that's fine. Maybe you're _Tavra _will put a nice ribbon on them for you." Gamzee scowled.

"Stop saying shit about Tavra. You don't motherfucking know her."

"_Neither do you_."

Gamzee hovered for a minute. He _felt _like he knew Tavra. But he really didn't, did he? Karkat shook his head and turned his movie back on. Gamzee retreated into his bedroom, thoughts rattling around in his head. He knew Tavra was different from the other humans. He knew she was nice, and he knew that she was really motherfucking sweet and cute and funny when she was stuttering He didn't really know much about her though. He didn't know her favorite color, or her favorite anything. He didn't know her friends.

Oh, Messiahs.

He didn't know if she had a boyfriend, or a girlfriend or anything. Aw, shit.

"I'm going to the coffee shop, Karkat." A bemused snort came as his reply, along as something that was muttered which was undoubtedly an insult. Gamzee broke into a sprint, wondering if Tavra would still be there. He'd forgotten all about going after school.

He breathlessly ran in. Tavra looked up from her schoolpad and blinked at him with an empty expression. He skipped right past the coffee machine and sat down next to her. "Sorry I'm all motherfucking late."

"L-late? I didn't think we, uh… had an a-appointment." Gamzee smiled.

"But you're here, right?"

"Uh… y-yeah. B-but not because I was w-waiting for you…," she trailed off. "Jeez, th-that didn't sound how I meant it. I m-meant I was h-hoping to s-see you and stuff but…"

Before Gamzee could talk to her, two people grasped his arms. They didn't say anything. It was becoming routine for the three. The troll didn't bother say anything either. Tavra waited, then sheepishly met the boy outside, who didn't bother stand up yet. "M…maybe it's not such a good idea for you to, uh, try to meet me here," Tavra said. "O-only because I don't want you to get hurt," she added quickly. Gamzee shrugged.

"I would up and invite you to my motherfucking apartment but my brother can be a little frightening." Tavra didn't say anything. "Tavvy?"

"Oh, uh, sorry. I was just th-thinking." Thinking about what?

"Hey, Tavvy," Gamzee said, finally standing up. "You got anyone special?"

"Y-you mean like a, uh, a b-boyfriend or something?"

"Yeah," Gamzee said lazily.

"N-n-o," she whispered, shaking her head. Gamzee smiled. She was too cute. "W… uh… why?"

"Just wondering," he responded simply. "You seem like you would have someone special."

"W-what?" Gamzee shrugged and started to walk off. "G-gamzee!"

"Yeah?"

"M..maybe you could… could…," she exhaled, then tried again. "Maybe you could come over tomorrow after school!" She spat the sentence out as quickly as she could. "I m-mean… only if you're, uh, comfortable with coming into m-my side of town and… well… yeah." Gamzee smiled.

"Yeah, cool!"

* * *

"Hey, bro!" Gamzee said, arriving home from his (victorious) walk home. He rocked on his heels.

"I don't care," Karkat snapped. "Whatever it is." He tossed a plastic-wrapped sandwich at Gamzee. Karkat was responsible for cooking, translated into Karkat was responsible for keeping the stock of premade food up.

"Tavra invited me over." Karkat glared at him.

"And I assume you're going."

"Aw yeah, I am!"

"Yeah and what if you get fucking jumped or something?"

"That's alright. I'll motherfucking risk it."

"Lovesick douchebag," Karkat snapped. Gamzee grinned. "I can't wait to see how _this _one turns out."


	6. Voices

**short, short backstory chapter**

Karkat

Karkat slid down onto the lumpy, maroon, couch with a loud sigh after watching his excitable younger brother burst out of the apartment. He smiled crookedly, then sat up and turned his movie back off. Meandering into the kitchen, he considered how lucky he was that Gamzee was under control lately. He was a sweet kid, but he came with his own set of problems.

When they were younger and their parents death was still fresh in their minds it had been a lot different. Gamzee had been ten at the time and Karkat was fourteen. Nobody was going to worry too much about what happened to a troll family except maybe other caring trolls. There weren't all that many trolls around their apartments, though and they don't really care. So Karkat and Gamzee lived together in the apartment.

Karkat, admittedly, did not really adapt to the role of guardian quickly. At first he more or less left the younger sibling to do whatever he wanted while Karkat went out and hung with his friends. His little brother at first was pretty upset about it. Then he got used to it. As he got older, around fourteen, he started smoking. Karkat yelled at him for a long time, and Gamzee shrugged and told him to calm down.

Karkat didn't calm down. The next day he began to lecture Gamzee again. This time, the young boy clenched his fists and stared at the ground, gritting his teeth. Karkat knew this was strange of his brother. His brother looked up at the ceiling.

"Gamzee?" He said cautiously.

"_I'm not gonna motherfucking hurt him! Shut up!_" Gamzee howled, clutching his head.

"Gamzee! What's wrong?" Gamzee looked up at him with a pained expression.

"The voices," he whispered. "_Stop_!"

"What voices? In your head?" Gamzee nodded. "Gamzee, how fucking long have you been hearing voices."

"_Since you motherfucking left_," the boy screamed, shoving Karkat aside.

"I never left, Gamzee," Karkat said. growing confused. Gamzee looked up at him now, his expression softening into sadness.

"Yes you did," he whispered. Karkat frowned. "You've been gone since they died." Karkat was silent. "_You left me all by my motherfucking self! For all these years! And you didn't even notice the voices!" _Karkat dodged his brothers lunge, then grabbed him and hugged him tightly, pressing the smaller boys head into his chest, stroking his knotted hair.

"Gamzee," he whispered, "I'm back now, okay?" He started hushing Gamzee, patting his head, until the boy calmed down. Since then, the boy only had small episodes of the "voices" bothering him. Karkat worked pretty hard to make sure that he didn't, but he kenw he still wasn't a perfect guardian. Not by a long shot.

He seriously hoped that Gamzee knew what he was doing this time. Because Karkat had no idea.


	7. You Can Hate Humans Too

Tavra

_When she was little, Tavra was afraid of plenty of things. Bugs, the dark, losing her mom, slimy things and several other things. But one thing Tavra hadn't been afraid of was heights. When she was young, she liked to believe that maybe she could fly. Maybe everyone could fly, and nobody had figured out how yet, she reasoned. Maybe she had wings that would pop out of her back if she concentrated just right. _

_So when she was younger, she liked to stand on the top of the playground, or sit on the branches of trees, or hop onto the top of park picnic tables. She liked to be where the wind tousled her hair and ran through her splayed fingers. One day, she was balancing atop the playground wall- a large, white plastic structure (that clearly stated that the children shouldn't be playing on it.) It started small and worked its way up, starting about a foot tall and sloping up before sloping back downwards._

_A few of the other girls cheered as she tottered atop it, keeping a firm foot, eating up the attention. The seven year old girl beamed. Then she realized a second girl was behind her. "Coming through, kid!" She shouted. Tavra glanced behind her. "C'mon, you're so slow!" Tavra didn't really bother speed up, though she was slightly put off by the loud girl behind her. _

_And then the other girl proved that she was as impatient as she had seemed and shoved Tavra. In the center of the wall, where the wall was tallest. A few girls, including Tavra, shrieked as she plummeted towards the ground._

_The rest was a blur of searing pain mixed with startling numbness, being confined to a hospital bed for days and days until finally she was placed into a wheelchair. But the experience, she thought, made her the way she was._

_The girl that had pushed her was human. A human had pushed her, not a troll. The only person that had ever really, really hurt her was a human. Tavra never saw the girl again. Beforehand she'd been afraid of trolls. The girls at school told her rumors about them- how they ate rats and slept in the sewers and so on. _

_But after the accident, she saw a troll girl being shoved around by a few human boys. She looked pretty upset. She struggled away from them bit back tears, dodging their blows. Tavra didn't know what to do. But it upset her. She wasn't brave enough to stop them herself, not in her wheelchair. After a while a teacher told them to break it up, though he didn't seem very upset about it. That was when Tavra decided that she didn't hate trolls at all. She didn't hate them anymore than she hate anyone else. _

"Tavra?" Gamzee said, poking the girls shoulder, rousing her from her thoughts. "You alright there, kid?" Tavra fumbled to get her key out of her pocket, nearly dropping it.

"Yeah! Sorry," she said, unlocking the door. "C-come on in." Tavra led Gamzee into the hallway. "Mom! Me and G-Gamzee are here!" Her mother came out of the kitchen to meet the two teenagers. Tavra took Gamzee's jacket and hung it up in the closet.

"Hello you two!" Her mother smiled. "You didn't tell me that Gamzee was...," she trailed off realizing that she probably shouldn't finish her sentence. Tavra grimaced. "...A boy," she bluffed quickly. Tavra shrugged, playing along with her mother's lie. It was better than acting like it was a problem that he was a troll.

"I thought I... that I, uh d-did," she muttered, shrugging. "Gamzee, you can put your shoes on the mat over there." Mrs. Nitram smiled and pointed towards the kitchen.

"I'll make you two something to eat. Make yourself at home, Gamzee."

"Thanks ma'am," Gamzee said, grinning. "So, Tavvy, where are we going?" Tavra shrugged.

"Why don't we go to my room?"

Gamzee

Gamzee couldn't place his finger on it but something seemed to be bothering his friend. He couldn't seem to wrap his brain around it. He smirked. There wasn't much he was very good at thinking through. "So... th-this is it. Nothing m-much I guess." Gamzee looked around her room. There was a brown striped rug in the center of the room. A poster for a broadway show- Peter Pan it appeared- hung over the headrest of her bed. She sat down on her bed. "W-what do you want to do?" Gamzee shrugged. She stared off at the wall.

"Tavra? Something motherfucking bothering you?" Tavra turned and shook her head. "I can tell it's something!" Tavra frowned and stared at the ground, sighing.

"Earlier today... I-I was waiting for you t-to come back from the lunch line and, uhh, there was a girl that sat down next to me." She rubbed her hands together and sighed again. "And she said she worked at the coffee sh-shop where we met. A-and then she said 'That boy c-comes every, uhh, everyday because he w-wants... he wants to rebel. Wh-why would you think that you're not just some excuse to rebel?' And she k-kept saying mean things like that... u-until Nepeta came over and she left." Gamzee frowned.

"You don't think that she's motherfucking right, do you?"

"No... I just... uh... I-I know it's really stupid that it's bothering me... but it is," Tavra said quietly, staring at her feet. Gamzee lowered himself down so he was sitting next to her and hugged her tight. He felt the girl flinch, then relax slightly. She didn't return the hug, but she didn't stop him either.

"You are so much more," he said, "Than a motherfucking cup of coffee, Tavra."


	8. Shut Up, Shut Up

Tavra

Tavra's eyes widened and her face heated up as Gamzee held her. She didn't know what to do, and couldn't seem to choke out any words so let the boy hug her. "I mean, it's not like I can't motherfucking see why you might be worried," Gamzee said. "But you really are the most important sis in my whole motherfucking life. With the coffee it's not like I'm gonna make a huge deal out of it. But I don't care what happens to me when people threaten me about you."

Tavra wriggled out of his hug. She stared into the boys gray eyes, chewing on her lip and furrowing her brow. "P-people threaten you?" Gamzee paused, then shrugged, holding the back of his neck.

"I mean," he started, looking across the room. "It's not anything bad. They just tell me that I better stop getting my friendly on with you." Tavra blinked, then threw her arms around him. Gamzee straightened as she buried her face in his shoulder.

"I don't want you to get h-hurt," she whispered shakily. "I... I'm scared." Gamzee held her tight.

"I can't promise that I won't get hurt. But I won't motherfucking leave you. I can't." Tavra bit her lips together, feeling a bit embarrassed to be hugging him.

"I'm sc-scared," she repeated. "The antis are... nasty."

"I can't leave you," Gamzee repeated. "Tavvy... I think I motherfucking love you." Tavra froze, her body tensing. The boy let go of her after a second and buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. Man, I didn't mean to up and make things really awkward. I should've just... urk," the boy muttered through his palms. After a while he parted his fingers to look up at Tavra. The girl sniffled, tears in her eyes. "Aw, shit, Tavvy. Should I go?" Tavra shook her head quickly.

"I'm confused," she whispered. "I..." She pulled her legs up to her chest. "I... you... I can't... I d-don't know." She sighed shakily, sniffling and wiping her eyes. She looked at Gamzee. She didn't know why, but she couldn't say that she didn't return his feelings. She didn't think it was true. It was a sudden feeling. But she was terrified. Being in love with Gamzee could easily get the boy killed. She was already scared enough about the fact that people were approaching him about her. She wanted him to be safe. But she wanted him to be happy. Did she want to love him? Her mind seemed to have shut that topic up and kept her from thinking about it. She didn't know how to express her feelings, because she didn't understand them.

Gamzee smiled, but it wasn't a trademark Gamzee smile. It was a forced smirk that twitched a bit. "It's okay, Tavvy. You don't have to say anything. I can get why you wouldn't wanna be seen with a troll brother with me."

"N-no!" Tavra shouted (angrily? Her emotions right now didn't have names.) "That's... n-not it at all!" Gamzee was silent. "Look, it's not like I... I d-don't even know. I w-want you to be safe." Gamzee frowned.

"I don't want to be safe," he said in an unsettlingly quiet tone. "I... want you." He looked as though he was distracted.

"Gamzee? P-please don't be upset. I... I just don't know what to s-say right now," the girl said quietly, her face burning. Gamzee nodded, still not looking at her. "Gamzee?"

"I...," he trailed off. "It's almost my dinner time." Tavra knew very well that it was a lie. Gamzee had hardly been over twenty minutes- it was barely three in the afternoon. But she nodded.

"W-will I see you tomorrow at school?"

"Yeah," he muttered, standing up. "I really, really have to go!" He looked at her for a minute with a pained expression, then raced out of her room. Tavra stood up, but didn't move. The door slammed shut, making Tavra jump. Her mother came into the room, frowning.

"What happened?" Tavra hung her head.

"I...I don't know," Tavra said in a hushed voice.

Gamzee

Gamzee raced down the steps off her apartment. "Stop, stop, stop," he hissed.

_You fucking retard. Why would you scare her like that? No, hell, why would you even bother with a girl like her? You're screwing yourself and her over. _

"Shut up," Gamzee growled, racing down the streets. He ignored humans harsh stares. Fuck them, he didn't care about any of them. It was _their _fault, those people giving him those looks. It was there fault that everything was falling apart, that nothing was going right.

_You. Ruined. Everything. Tavra's gone. Do you think that it's a good sign that you made her fucking cry? You think she really wants to see you again? Ha! I bet she never wants to see you anyway. She's just too damn polite to get rid of you. _

"No," Gamzee groaned. "That's not true. Tavra cares about me." The voice never listened to him, anyway. It was pointless to try to argue with it.

_At least you had enough sense to leave her alone. _

Gamzee hardly noticed the fact that tears were streaming down his face, running tracks in his clown makeup. He gasped for breath as he raced home, occasionally telling the voice to stopped. He leaned against the door, breathing heavily. Karkat emerged from the living room.

"Gamzee?"

Gamzee held his head, letting himself slide down to the floor. "I fucked up, bro."


	9. Broken Things

**longer chapter than normal today!**

* * *

Tavra

Tavra walked home from school with a heavy heart. It'd been a week since she'd seen Gamzee. She missed him terribly. Everyday after school she went to the coffee shop and sat for over an hour, hoping he'd come by. He didn't on Wednesday, or Thursday, or Friday, or the weekend or the rest of the next week. It was Thursday and the paranoia that Gamzee wasn't coming back stung inside her. She had no way to reach him- and he'd never invited her over. It hadn't only been three weeks since she met him. Three short, short weeks. And it felt like everything that had happened to her and him had turned her simple life upside-down.

Suddenly, someone shoved her to the side. She cried out as she fell backwards. A kid she didn't recognize glared at her. The girl next to him, though was the same girl that had told her that Gamzee didn't care about her. The two snigger. Tavra fell against the wall behind her, crying out as she scraped her side on the gutter. She tried to steady herself, but her left leg suddenly refused to respond. She toppled over. She watched from her seated position as the kids walked away sniggering.

Tavra first turned her attention to her left arm, which seared with pain. A long cut ran down it. She hissed in pain and wiped the blood onto her pants. She went to stand up. Her right leg responded. Her left prosthetic ignored her once again. Tavra shuddered, feeling nervous as she pulled up her pant leg gingerly. The gutter had managed to hit the little exposed bit of wires. She cursed silently for the design of the prosthetic.

She probably could have gotten up if she wanted to, but the will had drained out of her. She leaned against the wall of the building, sighing. She wished someone would come. Maybe Nepeta hadn't left school yet. She frowned, remembering her best friend was at her art club at the moment and wouldn't be coming any time soon. Tavra wasn't sure how she was going to manage hobbling home one-legged.

She wished Gamzee had been with her. Before, they walked to the coffee shop together after school. If she hadn't messed up, maybe he would've helped her. Maybe he would have slung her arms over his shoulders and lifted her up and carried her-

Stop it, she scolded herself in her head. She tried to pull herself up and steady herself on her useless foot but it didn't stay stiff and buckled out at the knee joint causing the girl to topple over again, smacking her head. This was too much. She felt tears prick at her eyes and she grew shaky.

"Tavra?" Tavra looked hopefully at the sound of a male voice. She tried to hide her disappointment but she was sure it was obvious.

"E…quius," she said, frowning.

"You are injured," he stated. "Did something happen?" She shrugged.

"I-I… tripped. On the wall." Equius scanned her expression, deciding whether or not to believe her excuse. He seemed to accept her explanation. She hung her head. "I… broke my leg." She lifted up her pants to show him the green wire that was sticking out. He frowned, then knelt down next to her, taking her leg in his hands, seeming to forget that to her it was a part of her body and not just machinery. He pulled his hands away quickly.

"I apologize," he said. "I think I can fix it back at school. If you will allow me." Tavra considered it. It would be immature to spite Equius at this point. And, frankly, she needed his help. She nodded.

"P-please," she said. Equius offered her his hand and pulled her up. She tried to hide the all too obvious embarrassment of being held by him again. She didn't feel many old feelings like she thought she might, but it was still embarrassing. He practically lifted her off the ground and he helped her hop back into the school building and into the shop class. He helped her up onto one of the workbenches, where she sat, her leg stretched out.

Equius disappeared into the back of the room, then came back out with a foot or so of the green wire. He took the metal plates of the girls mechanical limb and set to work. She was happy he was engulfed in his work because she had no idea how to make conversation with the boy anymore. He finished quickly. "There. Try to utilize it." Tavra bent her knee successfully. She forced a smile.

"Thanks," she whispered. Equius nodded, and helped her off the table, even though she didn't need assistance. "I'll… see you around," she said, and started to scurry off.

"I quit the group." Tavra slowed down.

"What?"

"I quit the anti-troll league. I left it." Equius caught up to her. She felt her heart pounding in her ears. She just wanted to go home.

"That's, uh, good," she mumbled, continuing to walk. Equius was silent for a moment. It was once the two were out of the school that he spoke again.

"I understand that things will likely never be the way that they were previously with the two of us. But… I still care about you very much and I do not wish to lose you as a friend. If that is a possibility at this point." Tavra looked at him, then smiled slightly.

"I would like if w-we could still be friend," she said with a nod. He frowned slightly. "I'm going to go home now, though. I-I've had a really, really, uh, long day." Equius nodded.

"If you need any assistance with your leg do not hesitate to inform me." She nodded and waved. The boy raised his hand up.

Tavra walked off. Even though she'd regained her friendship with Equius, her spirits did not seem to have lifted much.

Gamzee

"I guess you can go out, just don't get yourself all fucking freaked out again." Gamzee was practically halfway across town before Karkat had cleared him to leave the house. It'd taken days for the voices to dwindle. Gamzee had been begging Karkat to let him leave the house for days. He needed to talk to Tavra. He needed to apologize. He barreled down the street.

By the time he arrived at Tavra's he collapsed against the wall, taking large gulps of air. He hesitantly knocked on the door. The doorknob turned and Mrs. Nitram was standing in front of him.

"Oh," she said. "Hi, Gamzee."

"Hi, Mrs. N," he panted. "Is Tavra in?" Mrs. Nitram shook his head.

"She hasn't come home from school yet. Would you like to wait here for her?" Gamzee shook his head.

"I'll go meet her, I think," he said. Mrs. Nitram nodded. He bid the woman farewell and began to race off towards the school.

He jogged through town, ignoring stares. He checked inside the coffee shop, and didn't see Tavra through the window. He finally found the girl a bit away from the school building walking with someone. A tall, muscular boy was walking in step with her, as they chatted. Gamzee stared. Tavra waved and smiled, walking away from the boy. Gamzee stared for a minute.

_Who the hell's he? _

Gamzee bit his lip. "Aw, hell no, you motherfucker. Get the fuck out or Karkat ain't gonna let me see Tavra."

_He looks like he needs to be taught a lesson._

"Shut it."

_Teach him a lesson. _

Gamzee gripped onto his hair, shaking his head.

_Teach him a lesson. _

"No!" Gamzee growled. 'Go away. I need to see her." Gamzee ran up to the girl. She looked at him in shock.

"Gamzee?"

_What a bitch. What a slut. I bet she got with that motherfucker as soon as you disappeared. _

"H…hey, Tavvy.

_Heh. I bet she was with him the whole motherfucking time. _

"Where have you been?"

_Why don't we teach them both a lesson, huh? _

Gamzee grimaced, trying to ignore the voice. "I… can we motherfucking talk for a minute?"


	10. You Can Cry

**,=w=, some reviews would REAAAAAALLY be appreciated hugs her reviewers**

Gamzee

The voice taunted him while he walked Tavra home. The voice got worse and worse, listing off the terrible things he should do to Tavra. It told him it wouldn't go away until he did. It laughed, it sang a morbid little song it made up. Gamzee wanted to yell at it, but he wanted to explain to Tavra before he freaked her out. "So," he said quietly, hoping that maybe an explanation would keep the jeering at bay, "Who was that motherfucker?" Tavra shrugged.

"M-my old friend, Equius," she said, then added quietly, "My ex-boyfriend."

_Heh, ex-boyfriend. They're pretty chummy for exes, huh? Why don't you beat her pretty tan skin purple for that. Then she'd learn to respect you._

Gamzee nodded. "I see," he said.

_You want to hurt her, don't you? _Gamzee argued with the voice in his own head. No he didn't, he told it. _I'm sure you do. You look at that sweet little face. That sweet little face that lies to you and tells you your special. That sweet, sweet girl that tries so hard to get rid of you. You don't want her to go away. But she's going to. She hates you. And that's why you want to hurt her. _

Gamzee shook his head a bit. Tavra was keeping a close eye on him throughout the way-too-long walk home. "Are you okay?"

_I live in your head, I know what you think. Maybe you've convinced yourself that you don't but you're only hurting yourself. You want to hurt her. _

Gamzee shakily looked at the girl. She smiled weakly at him. Her brown eyes looked worried, though. Shit, she was so pretty. Sometimes, it was like the voice took over. It convinced him that what it was saying was true. Like the time it had told him that Karkat hated him, that Karkat never wanted him. Gamzee shuddered.

"Gamzee? We're… uh… h-here." Gamzee looked ahead to see the building where Tavra lived. He followed her trying to focus on the world around him instead of the one inside his head. Tavra waved to her mother and feigned a smile. Gamzee tottered after her. The girl shut the door to her room softly and sat down on her bed. Gamzee hovered uselessly at the front of the room. "What d-did you, uh… want t-to t-t-t-talk about? Gamzee stared at his hand. The girl patted next to her, offering another smile.

_What a stupid, ugly girl. Good thing you really hate her, huh? _

Gamzee didn't want to snap. He didn't want to snap, he didn't want to snap, he didn't want to snap. He remembered he owed the girl an explanation. "Well I guess this is kinda fucked up," he muttered. "You probably ain't gonna wanna be my friend after this." Tavra frowned.

_Tell her you hate her. _

"There's something wrong with me, Tavra. There's been something wrong with me for a few years now."

_Tell her she's worthless. _

Tavra knotted her hands together, obviously wanting to listen more than she wanted to respond. Gamzee continued. "When I get all up and really motherfucking angry, or sad, or upset I get this little voice that pops up in my head," he paused. The girl looked surprised but she didn't say anything. "It says nasty things to me. It tells me to hurt people, mostly. If there's nobody else around it tells me to hurt myself."

"G-Gamzee…," Tavra whispered.

"It doesn't come out a lot!" Gamzee said hastily. "And I can keep it under control. So when I got upset last week, that's why I kinda flipped out and shit." He frowned, burying his face in his hands. "And I was really motherfucking afraid to talk to you! I don't want you to be afraid of me! And I promise, as soon as I calm down, it'll all go away!" He sighed. "But I know you probably don't wanna a crazy bro like me. You want some one like that big motherfucker you were talking to earlier, huh?"

_You got that one right. She doesn't want someone like you. That's. Why. You. Hate. Her. _

Tavra stared down at her hands, which she busied herself with, cracking her knuckles and bending her fingers one by one. "That's not … not t-true. I….," she trailed off. "I…" She felt like crying again. "You're really important to me, okay?" She said, louder this time. "And I never would have guessed that you had that, uh th-that v-voice. I b-believe you can keep it under c-control and I … I don't want you to think we can't be friends because of it." The two looked up at each other. Gamzee rubbed his eyes, smearing his grey makeup into the white, getting it on the palms off his hands. He sniffed.

_You're gonna cry? You retard. _

The voice made him feel worse. He rubbed his eyes again, trying to stop himself from crying. The sudden feeling of Tavra hugging him. "It's okay," she said. "You can cry, uh, okay?" Her words broke him and he allowed himself to sniffle loudly and sob unattractively into the girls shoulder. She held him and put her head on his shoulder. Only after a while did he realize she was crying right along with him.

"Tavvy," he choked out.

"It's okay," she breathed. "D-don't worry, alright? You'll b-be alright." She smiled and turned her head. His heart stopped as she pressed her lip to his cheek. Gamzee looked at her in shock. The girl giggled shyly, her face turning bright red. He grinned at her and wiped his facepaint off her lips with his index finger.

_Hey _was all the voice could manage to say before it disappeared again.


	11. Creamy Coffee and Ash

**Two things**

**O_O ALL I HAD TO DO WAS ASK? I got 30% of my reviews from that last chapter! Thank you guys so much!**

**I'm tired right now so no promises**

Gamzee

It was a bit before seven by the time Gamzee finally meandered back into his apartment, all smiles. He closed the door and kicked of his shoes with a bit of a silly flourish. Karkat was practically stuck to him the moment he took a step. "How're you feeling?" Gamzee grinned stupidly back at his brother, not bothering to say a word. He knew his big bro could figure it out. Karkat always figured everything out. Gamzee though he was pretty motherfucking smart but Karkat claimed it was just the fact that Gamzee was retarded. Maybe that was it. But that didn't bother him all that much really. He'd gotten used to the fact that his brain was pretty much useless except for helping him float around in life, letting himself bump into and off of problems as they came. Like a balloon. A happy, happy little balloon. "You were out later than usual," grumbled his cantankerous guardian with a bit of a scowl. "What the fuck were you up to?' Gamzee laughed stupidly. "What did you fucking do?" Karkat said, his voice raising a bit. Gamzee knew that his incurable grin was driving his brother crazy.

"Me and Tavra had a big long talk and stuff." He scratched his head, his fingers tangling in the numerous tangles in his hair. "Maybe it wasn't all that motherfucking long but it was pretty big. And guess what? She's all up and okay with me still!"

"Is she fucking retarded?" Gamzee's smile faded a bit. Karkat frowned. At the end of the day he really did care about the weird little shit. "You're annoying as shit," he said quickly. Gamzee shrugged.

"I dunno why, but she said she'd still be my motherfucking friend. So her mom made us dinner and we watched some shows on her wicked television for a while." His smile returned, his eyes going half-lidded. "And she held my motherfucking hand."

Karkat sighed. "Look, I don't need to know what you and your little fucking girlfriend did. I just need to know that you didn't run around breaking shit because I let you run amok." Gamzee shrugged. Karkat's expression grew serious. "But I do need to tell you that I think it's a _terrible _idea to go prancing around with some pink-skinned chump."

"Her skin's not really _pink_," Gamzee drawled lazily. "It's kinda... like... creamy coffee colored." Karkat glared.

"The fucking exact shade of her skin doesn't matter."

"Seems to matter a whole motherfucking lot around here, actually, bro," Gamzee said in one of the most serious tones he had ever used.

Tavra

Tavra couldn't sleep. She sat on the couch, slumped over like she was half dead, exhausted. Gamzee filled her thoughts. Oh, God, she loved him, didn't she? She did, she really did. When she looked at his big, weird-ish grin she wanted to smile in just the same way and laugh about nothing. She wanted to hold his ashen colored hand somewhere, admiring the contrast of their skin, their fingers laced together. She wanted to see his skin behind his face paint.

But all the while, there were the ideas of antis and threats and harm coming to the two dancing around her head, anchoring her euphoria safely to the ground. Loving Gamzee was practically illegal. At least it had consequences just as bad, if worse, than something illegal.

Being with Gamzee would not be wrong. Tavra did not doubt that having feelings for Gamzee was okay. But only in a moral sense. The amount of people that shared the same morals as the two of them was startlingly low.

She turned off the television, which was just beginning to sound like stupid noise, giving her a headache. She flopped back against her couch with a quiet sigh.

She wondered what her mother would say. Her mother did not have a problem with trolls, really. But she wasn't sure how the aspect of her safety would make her mom feel. She wanted to believe that her mother would support her, but she knew that the woman also put Tavra's safety first. And being together with Gamzee would not be safe.

She reminded herself that she was not actually together with Gamzee yet. The question hadn't come up yet, so she had some time to work it out. She had a feeling that Gamzee would probably bring it up soon. It was dangerous. It was a terrible idea. It was something the girl would have never done a month ago.

But when she saw Gamzee all sense of reason seemed to move out of the way for her rasher, more confusing emotions. Which would make it very, very hard to ever be able to stop what seemed to already be happening.

She couldn't really say she wanted it to stop, anyway.


	12. Parents

**was gonna have this finished last night but my keyboard freaked out and the "T" and "V" keys didn't work anymore. so you can guess why that was a problem**

* * *

Tavra

The next day Gamzee and Tavra went to her house after school, skipping the coffee shop for the first time since they'd met. They didn't talk much about what exactly was happening between the two. For the moment, Tavra was grateful for that. The two sat down on her bed cross-legged. She took out a deck of some sort of game cards. "So you want me to teach you?" Gamzee nodded. Tavra shuffled the cards and passed them to him. Gamzee took some of the cards and examined the carefully drawn creatures that were shown on them. Small text explained how the creature "attacked."

"Here, you use that. I'll get out my other deck," she said. She looked around a bit, then bent over, reaching under her bed and pulling out a small box. She rooted through it. It was filled with loose cards and booster-pack wrappers. Gamzee gawked at her collection. She smiled, slightly proud of her hoard. She picked up her older deck, one that didn't run as well as the one she'd given Gamzee to use. As she began to shuffle she noticed something that wasn't a card sticking out of the deck. She removed it. A look of recognition crossed her face, paling slightly as she looked at the slip of paper in her hand.

"Hey, Tavra, what's that?" Gamzee said quietly, scooting closer to her. Tavra swallowed, considering moving it away but deciding against it. She showed it to Gamzee, tearing her eyes away from the dog-eared wallet photo. Gamzee took at and examined it. "Who's this bro?" Tavra shuffled her cards, swallowing.

"My dad," she said after a minute. Gamzee was quiet for a minute.

"I guess he's gone... huh?" Tavra nodded. The memory was engraved into her mind. She'd relived it many times, trying to try and figure out something new from it.

Daddy s_tood in the door frame. He smiled at Tavra and kneeled down to kiss her head. "Daddy's got to go, okay?" Tavra stared at him, upset from all the commotion that lead up to him standing in the doorway with a suitcase. _

_"Where are you going, Daddy?" She said. There was a long silence. It was interrupted by her Mom. Mom was in the other room, emerging every so often to fling random things that belonged to daddy at him. A tee-shirt, a hairbrush, a book. She hadn't said anything up until that point._

_"Daddy's leaving, Tavra," she choked. "Daddy's being irresponsible. He's leaving his Tavra behind." Daddy's jaw clenched. The anger in his eyes at mommy made Tavra even more upset and she cried, backing away from Daddy in confusion. She didn't want to be with him. She didn't want to be with Mommy. She wanted them to stop. _

_"I'm not leaving Tavra! I'm leaving you!" Daddy spat, standing back up. Mommy walked over and shoved a box in his face. _

_"Why don't you take this shit out to the trash?" She spat. Tavra's reading skills were still rough but she knew the word on the box. _Photos. _She ran over. _

_"Mommy, don't throw those away!" She cried. Mommy ignored her. Her and daddy started yelling more. Tavra plugged her fingers in her ears and hid in her room. By the time she was brave enough to come out of her room again Daddy was gone. Mommy was locked in her room. _

The worst part was that Tavra had waited for weeks and weeks for her dad to call her. And then months. And then a year before she gave up. Dad wasn't coming back. The subject was dropped. Mom and her never talked about Dad anymore.

She turned to Gamzee. "He and m-mom... um, got divorced a long time ago," she said with a shrug. Gamzee frowned a bit, then nodded. "Let's play, okay?"

Gamzee

Tavra quietly explained the rules of the game to him. After a couple games, he got the hang of it. He listened to her quietly and nodded. "You wanna know what happened to my parents?" He said. Tavra looked up.

"O-only if you want. I'm s-sorry if it seemed like I didn't care... I-I just didn't want to pry." Gamzee ruffled her hair with a smile, in a sort of attempt to cheer her up. Her lips twitched into a small smile and she looked away at the television, her cheeks tinging with red.

"A w hile ago they died." Tavra gaped, turning back to look at him. He glanced at her and shrugged. "I guess it was a pretty big deal. My mom worked overtime all the time because we needed the money. But Dad stayed home with me and Karkat at night. He made dinner and stuff. I mean, it wasn't the _best_. We always fought and stuff and he was pretty motherfucking strict about what me and Karkat did. But I definitely didn't want him to up and leave us. They both got really sick and we couldn't afford any medical care with them both out of work." Tavra had scooted next to him and held his hand as he explained the story with a blank look. She was a bit nervous that he'd get too upset and that he would run away again. He smiled weakly at her. "But, Karkat took pretty good care of me, you know? He wasn't around a lot because he was either working or with his friends. But it was motherfucking nice of him, I guess to not just leave me. He was a pretty good bro I guess." There was a long silence. "So that's what happened to my parents."

Tavra watched the boy in silence for a moment before hugging him. "I'm... r-really sorry, Gamzee." He shrugged.

"What're you sorry about? It's not your fault." The two turned after a while and went back to watching television. They turned it off when Mrs. Nitram served them dinner and ate in Tavra's room. It was only once she was finished that she realized Gamzee was staring at her. She blinked, and searched for something to say when he didn't break eye contact with her.

"S-something wrong?"

"Hey," he said. "Tavvie, you ever gonna respond to my whole loving you thing?"


	13. Our Little Secret

***screams* 50 followers! This seems like an appropriate chapter to celebrate with!**

Tavra

Tavra paused, then put her plate down, busying herself with her cards, playing with the television remote despite the fact that she'd turned her television off. "Tavra? Did you hear-"

"I-I did," she said quickly. Gamzee watched her quietly. She looked up at him then back down at her cards. Shuffle. Shuffle. "Um... I...," Tavra stammered. "God, G-Gamzee this is, uh, r-really confusing, okay? You kn-know that... there's tons of tr-trouble we could stir up if we..."

Gamzee was quiet. "But, you know, that's not really whether you up and love me or not. That's whether or not you want those motherfuckers to see me with you. And we don't even have to up and deal with that right now if you want." Tavra let her cards drop and buried her face in her hands.

"G-Gamzee, it's hard to think a-about this st-stuff without wanting to drop the th-thought. B-because I don't want you to get hurt."

"I already told you I don't care if I get some stupid motherfuckers trying to rough me up," Gamzee said with a shrug. "I don't want them to be in charge of me and you, y'know?" Tavra felt nauseous.

"I want to b-be with you. I wanna... I wanna be, uh, brave. I really, really, r-really like you," she whispered. "A-And when I-I think about how fast w-we've become friends... and how n-nice you've been, I-I'm scared to let you get yourself, uh, put in danger because of... because of me."

"Nobody's gonna motherfucking hurt me. I've been a troll for a while now, you know," he said with a bit of a smile." Tavra stared at her feet with a blush. "Hey, you know? What if nobody else has to know?" Tavra blinked.

"Y-you mean like... in s-secret?"

"Well I already up and confessed to you and you say its all those douche-y motherfuckers that makes you nervous about loving me. So couldn't we compromise or something like that?" Gamzee said. The way he seemed genuinely excited about his idea wrenched at her heart.

A chance. She wasn't very good at going out on a limb. She liked to think about things before she did things. She'd never jumped into anything big. Nothing like this. She'd known Equius for years before she ever considered dating him! And look how that turned out!

Stupid, stupid, idiot Tavra. She should have just... just never given Gamzee that coffee! And never have went back to the coffee shop hoping to see him again like a freak! Yeah, she wanted to know about trolls? Well now she knew. There was nothing wrong with trolls. Especially not Gamzee. Gamzee was... Gamzee was Gamzee and she really liked everything about that. His childish disposition, his carefree smiles and his genuine concern for her. Now her curiosity had come back to get her. Now she was standing around in the pit she'd dug herself into. And her choices were to stand around in the bottom or keep digging further.

Gamzee

He was really a mess. He was an unpleasant mixture of anxiety, excitement, nerves, and lots of other emotions his mind couldn't really work its way around. Tavra tried to say something after a moment, then looked at him. He shrugged, not sure what else to do. Gamzee almost wanted to hit himself. What if he'd gone and screwed up his whole friendship with her? There weren't many people like Tavra, and Gamzee doubted he was ever going to meet anyone else as sweet and cool as her. He should've just kept his stupid mouth shut.

But part of him kept reminding him that she _really, really, really liked him. _Aw, shit what if he made her cry? Damn, he didn't wanna make her cry. "Uh... man I'm really motherfucking sorry for harassing you about this, Tavvy." He said after a minute. He pushed his plate off his lap onto her bed. "Should I leave you alone?" He turned so he wasn't facing her.

The girl frowned, then reached out and grabbed his arm, before snapping her arm back as though she was afraid she was going to get shocked. He turned. "I...," Long, drawn out silent.

"Yeah?"

The girl slowly scooted next to him and hugged him, burrowing her face into his chest. His breath caught, his hands hovering a bit away from her, not sure if he should touch her. Would that freak his little cutie out? After a moment he ended up hugging her back. "In... In secret," she muttered.

"You mean..." Gamzee sputtered through a grin. "You mean yes?" Tavra looked up at him. This time she was grinning.

"Y-yeah that's what I mean," she said. He laughed and hugged the human girl tighter with a grin.

"Aw, Tavvy you're the best!" he gushed, cuddling her like she was some kind of teddy bear. She laughed as he rocked her around. "If you want it to be a secret I won't tell motherfucking anybody!" She nodded into his tee-shirt.

Aw, shit this was the motherfucking best day of this clown's life.


	14. Invincibility

**Baaaaack! Gotta get back into my groove again now, so hopefully this isn't a bad chapter. **

Tavra

The next few weeks rolled by easily. In fact, more than easily. _Perfectly_. Every morning as Tavra was leaving for school she would find Gamzee waiting outside her complex for her, sitting on the bench up front. She scolded him that he was going to get hurt. "What happened to s-secret?" She hissed nervously. The boy frowned.

"It's not like everyone ain't seen us getting our friendly on, Tavvy," he mumbled, sulking like a child. "Besides, it's not like I'm motherfucking making out with you for everyone to see."

"G-gamzee!" The girl squeaked, hiding her face in her hands reflexively. Gamzee laughed, not at all with the slightest hint of cruel intent.

"I won't keep picking you up if you don't want me to," he said, a crooked sort of not-quite-frown playing across his painted mouth. Tavra shook her head a bit quicker than she meant to, making his grin come right back. "Aw, great!"

"But promise," she said in the sternest voice she could muster (which was not overly impressive but it seemed to work on Gamzee) "P-promise if anyone b-bothers you at all you'll leave."

"Cross my motherfucking heart." Besides walking to school, Gamzee kept his distance from her and stayed out of trouble with the antis, even though he obviously was unconcerned about them. The fact that he did it for her gave her a sort of silly fuzzy feeling. Once they got home to Tavra's they curled up on the couch and watched a movie together. Tavra always insisted Gamzee walked home before dark, always paranoid about him. Much more so than he was for himself. A couple times Tavra went over Gamzee's, but he always seemed a bit embarrassed about the disorder of his house and the naturally inhospitable ways of his older brother.

At school, Gamzee sat with them as he had been doing. After a while, Equius ended up returning to their lunch table. He avoided conversation with Gamzee when possible, and tried to be polite. Gamzee was either oblivious to the other boy's distrust with him or didn't care. Tavra wagered it could easily be either.

It was starting to get warmer so a lot of times they would lie down in the grass at the city park and stare up at the clouds and talk about nonsense until they got bored, or hungry, and went back to Tavra's

And sometimes, arbitrarily, Gamzee would decide that he wanted to try to go to the coffee shop after school. Tavra didn't argue. She understood why he did it and she always hoped with him that he'd be able to get a coffee. And, as it turned out, it was only three weeks after they became a couple that he did. Maybe the owners gave up, or maybe they didn't notice. Tavra swore she saw the girl that had talked to her look up, her bi-colored glasses flashing before she slowly turned back to organizing the register. He ran out triumphantly, showing her his cup of coffee like it was a trophy. He smirked and took a long sip of it then offered it to her. She tried to refuse it.

"I still owe you a coffee," he drawled with an easy smile. They walked back to Tavra's house, sharing the drink until it was empty. Gamzee was obviously pretty proud about it. They sat down on the couch and his excited rambling about how he had finally done it toned down.

"See Tavra?" he said quietly, scooting next to her. He looked at her lovingly and Tavra felt herself blush under his gaze.

"S-see what?"

"If you keep something up that motherfuckers like them don't like long enough, they'll finally get used to that shit." Tavra froze. He smiled. "Even if you gotta get kicked onto your ass sometimes." He took her face in his hands and gave her a quick, firm kiss, shocking her even further.

All she could seem to do was smile.

Later, she ran chewed her lip to find they tasted vaguely of coffee still. She smiled to herself, feeling for once like things were going to work out perfectly.

Gamzee

"Hey," Tavra said, looking up from their homework, which she was helping Gamzee with. "Would... uhh... well..." She took a breath and tried again. "Would you... maybe wanna g-go to the d-dance they're having next month?" Gamzee looked up, letting his pencil drop from his fingers.

"What? Really?" Gamzee paused. "I thought you didn't wanna be all romantic and shit in public and stuff." Tavra looked away, her ears coloring.

"W-well... o-only if you w-want. I mean, nobody's really been bothering us for b-being friendly and... and everyone will b-be busy dancing and..."

"Aw, you don't need to convince me, Tavvy!" He cried, hugging her. "I'd be so motherfucking honored to be your prom date!" Gamzee hardly even bothered worry about anything that could go wrong. There was no way he could reject an offer like this.


	15. The Anti-Troll

**ID heh. i never care about fashion except for when its time for me to pick out a dance dress. i LOVE dress shopping.**

**Tavra**

Tavra smiled twitchily, though on the inside she was nervous enough to melt. She stared at her reflection in the tall mirror on her bedroom door. Her flopped-over Mohawk was clipped with sparkling with barrettes. She had brown-ish eyeliner on and lip-gloss, not wanting to gooverboard. Her shoulders were exposed except for thin straps that connected with a floor-length burgundy dress. She subconsciously double-checked that none of her legs were exposed- she never enjoyed having the metal limbs exposed. The dress glittered elegantly, rolling over her body like water. She couldn't help but smile a little, her face burning. Her eyes darted back to the clock. Gamzee should be coming to pick her up in twenty minutes or so.

Tavra and Gamzee had told Gamzee how they were together, which nearly made the small girl jump out of her skeleton. She squealed (with a cry of "I knew it!") She eagerly insisted that she help Tavra pick out a dress. Tavra was going to explain that she was planning to wear an old skirt she had and her laced shirt, but her best friend was already rambling about what kind of style she thought would fit Nepeta.

Tavra had to argue with Nepeta for most of the shopping trip to let her get something that would cover her legs. Nepeta scowled. "Gosh, you're _way _too modest." The self-proclaimed fashion critic, who was going with Equius (and was extremely pouty that she didn't have a "real" date) had already picked a lime green dress that frilled like a tutu, covered in shimmering lace.

Gamzee was going to come with Tavra and Nepeta, but when Nepeta caught wind of his plan to tag along she angrily shooed him away. "You can't see her buy the dress! Those are the _rules._" Tavra wasn't sure she'd ever heard that rule, but stubborn fNepeta easily beat her passive boyfriend.

Tavra heard a knock at her door and eagerly rushed open, pulling it open, nearly tripping over her feet. She wasn't used to shoes like the ones she was wearing, even though they were simple flats. They weren't as secure to her feet as she would have thought, and she fell against the door, laughing, as she opened it.

Gamzee stood in front of her. He wore a pair of black pants, a purple button up shirt and an off-grey jacket- obviously not something that had all been bought together. His hair was tucked back behind his ears, not much less messy than usual. All the same, Tavra found her ears tingling when she looked at him. He grinned, his make-up the same as always. He leaned forward and hugged her. "You're so cute!" He gushed, squeezing her. She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You l-look really nice, too," she said. He straightened up, and this time offered his hand.

"Ready to go?" She nodded, still elated. She felt slightly nervous. This was her first time that she'd be acting like Gamzee's girlfriend in public. She assured herself that nobody would really care, all of them would be too busy to notice them.

"Ready," she said with a grin.

**Nepeta/Equius **

Tavra and Gamzee were together near the back wall of the school gym, leaning against the wall and talking about something that Nepeta couldn't hear. She smiled, happy for her friend. She certainly thought Gamzee was a sweetheart to her. Still, she had to worry as a friend for Tavra. She hoped that he didn't get her into any kind of anti-related trouble. Nepeta turned back to check on Equius, who was getting her a plate of cookies as an apology for stepping on her foot during the first slow-dance of the night.

When he slid her the paper plate piled with chocolate chip cookies she took one and picked it apart, popping pieces of it into her mouth. "You still really care about her, huh?" Equius looked over at her silently. "You quit the antis fur her and ev-urr-ything," she said. Despite the fact that she took what she was saying seriously she still talked with her strange cat-inspired dialect. She had been using it since elementary school and it was hardly likely she'd stop any time soon. Her large friend glanced back at Tavra and frowned. "But do you even see what you did wrong? Do you see why hating trolls is bad?"

"I understand," Equius said hastily. Nepeta crossed her arms, glaring at the boy with her very best glare. "It's wrong to hurt people like the antis do, and I see now that I never should have joined up with them."

"You don't think they're like us, do you?" Equius fell silent again. "See Gamzee? See how happy Tavra is with him? You've met him. He's friendly and innocent as a fly. And the only thing that makes him 'worth less' than us it that people put him there." Equius frowned. Nepeta looked away, sighing at her friend, who still seemed to be taking in her information. "I'll be right back, I'm gonna go talk to Tavra fur a minute," she said, and walked off with a smile. Equius nodded.

Equius waited tapping his foot and watching the couples dance around, grinning. He sighed, and turned to look down at his hands, cracking his knuckles one by one. He noticed someone sit down next to him. He recognized him immediately as one of the antis. "Equius!" He drawled, in an overly-chummy voice.

"Yes?" Equius muttered, feeling uncomfortable.

"Where ya been, buddy?" He asked. "You ain't hanging out with us after school?" The boy knew perfectly well that Equius had quit. His uneasiness climbed. "You playing around this that cat girl now? Mrowr!" He chuckled. Equius felt cold sweat for on his brow, and he scowled at the lewd joke about his best friend and him. "What's with your _ex_, eh? She a troll-fucker now, huh?" Equius clenched his fists.

"Watch it," he growled. The boy held up his hands.

"A'ight, a'ight." He smirked. "But that troll boy's really pissin' us off, huh? Thinks he's people," he laughed raspily. "Eh, we'll get him." A girl snaked up to the boy and ran her fingers around his waist. He smirked. "Gotta go."

Equius watched the boy disappear into the crowd, nervously glancing at Tavra, who was giggling with Nepeta and her new boyfriend. He frowned, the boys voice repeating in his head. _We'll get him. _


	16. Underestimating

**(yOAO)y I PROMISE HER CHARACTERIZATION WILL GET BETTER. AND I COULDNT COME UP WITH A GOOD GENDERSWAP NAMES AND IVE BEEN SITTIN HERE ALL DAY AND THATS THE BEST I COULD DO IM SO SORRY**

**also, i'm super sorry about the grammar last chapter. I intend to fix it. I just was proofreading it and ended up changing the first half and forgot to reproofread it. =-=' dang.**

Equius

Equius frowned, jabbing lightly at his lunch, glancing up at Tavra, who was too busy talking to Nepeta about last night's dance too notice. He looked down at his plate, his stomach lurching a bit. He should tell her. So why wasn't he warning her about what the anti had said? Well, what would she be able to do if he did tell her? She wouldn't be able to stop them, right?

No, if anyone was going to help Tavra stay away from the antis it was going to have to be him.

He looked at the massacred chicken pie in front of him, sighed, and went up to the trash to toss it. He started to turn when he felt someone's nails dig into his shoulder. He spun around quickly, his muscles tensing. In front of him was a short girl. She wore ovular glasses, one lense tinted blue and the other red. Her raven hair was tugged back into a tight ponytail. She released him, crossing her arms.

"Did you... need something?" Equius said uncertainly.

"Why are you just sitting back? Why aren't you helping her?" Equius blinked. He'd never talked to this girl in his life. But he knew very well who she was talking about.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that I might not be friends with that girl," she whispered as ushered towards Tavra. "But I see her every day since she walked into my uncle's stupid coffee shop without you and I've seen she's gonna get her ass handed to her." There was silence. "She's a sweet girl, isn't she?"

Equius nodded uncertainly. The girl frowned, chewing on a red nail. "She is," he said quietly. She nodded.

"I used to know her a long time ago." She shrugged. "But even if I didn't, I don't like watching people let themselves get hurt by the antis." Her face flickered to a somewhat distant look for a moment, before she continued. "Nobody's worth giving yourself up to the antis, and you need to get her away from them, okay?"

"And are you part of some sort of resistance?" She laughed bitterly.

"Resistance? Yeah, right. I only avoid the antis and encourage others to do the same. It's much, much different than resisting. Resistance takes a kid that's not afraid to get themselves squashed into a brick wall." She frowned. "Please, don't let her get hurt. I know this sounds pretty weird and creepy,

but... I feel like I kinda know her. She comes into the cafe almost every day. And I would hate if she... didn't come anymore." Equius shivered.

"I will try my best to help her. But I cannot guarantee that my words... hold any value to her anymore."

"Thank you," she said. "It just makes my blood boil to see people get hurt by hose assholes. There's been too much of that."

"Um, well thank you...,"

"Sollis," she said. "Welcome to the avoidance," she said with a bitter smile. She walked away.

**Sollis**

The bespectacled girl sat down slowly at her table, automatically sitting at the side of her girlfriend. The bottle-blond turned, smiling venomously. "Where'd you go?" She said, all too sweetly.

"To throw my garbage in the trash," Sollis snapped, rolling her eyes. "What the hell do you think I was doing?"

"Hmm... you were gone a long time for throwing away your garbage."

"I stopped at the water fountain. Seriously, cool it." Sollis scowled. God, she hated the girl beside her more than anyone. The girl looked sweet enough, with her purple-streaked pixie cut and her smiles. But she had a short temper and had personally beat more trolls than anyone Sollis knew. Sollis hated Eridia. But she hadn't thought of that until it was too late, huh?

And though she very much doubted that Eridia actually cared about her, she had a lot of antis that were willing to make Sollis miserable if she didn't treat Eridia like the most important person in the world. She glanced over at the tan-skinnned girl, acting like the antis didn't matter, like they'd never get to her.

There were enough people in the world that had fallen into that trap, after all. Thinking the antis was innocent was going to get more people hurt. And for some reason, Sollis felt she needed to set people straight before her girlfriend did.


	17. Oblivious

**i am a lazy, uninspired jerk and i need to have ice water poured over my head for being a lazy, uninspired jerk. but anyway, i hope this turned out okay and i think i got the transition i need to continue with the story how i want**

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**Gamzee**

A lot of people would say that Gamzee was oblivious. And usually his actions suggested that they were right. Tavra tended to sit down next to him and he would turn to her five minutes later, asking where she'd come from. During school fire drills, he tended to walk in the completely wrong direction, or get distracted. And the list went on.

And the antis knew a lot about their targets. Hearsay and gossip always found their way to them. They planned. They knew when to attack, where, how. And so, they figured that Gamzee Makara, the oblivious idiot, would be one of their easiest targets yet. They'd just grab him, give him a set of black eyes, throw him down, steal his crap before he even knew what was happening.

Sometimes hearsay is wrong.

When Gamzee was with others, he tended to easily get distracted by noise, by other people, by just about anything. He could probably miss war breaking out behind him because he was watching some kid tie his shoe.

But when Gamzee was alone, he tended to think. He didn't like thinking too much, because he didn't want the voice to pop up. But when he was alone, he couldn't really help it. And when Gamzee was alone thinking he could pick up anything.

So, gossip would obviously suggest the ideas of Gamzee that people saw. But when Gamzee was walking home, thinking quietly, he heard footsteps. And he ignored them. It sounded like the footsteps of several people, walking quickly.

He glanced behind him, catching a glimpse of someone ducking into the network of alleyways beside him. He strolled along, a small smile playing at his lips, his hands in his sweatshirt pocket. He heard the footsteps come to a stop. He took a few more steps, sensing the group behind him. Staying with his back to them, he stopped short.

"Something you want, motherfuckers?" He said quietly. He spun slowly, to see a group of five antis. Some of them shifted, obviously surprised that he noticed them. Keeping a cool smirk, he faced them. "Just gonna stand there, then?"

The one in the center, a tall girl scowled. "You know you've been playin' human and now you're gonna pay the price." Gamzee tilted his head to either side, cracking his neck. "What? Are you gonna try and fight us?" She turned to the others and grinned.

Before they could finish their laughing, Gamzee's fist was in a boy's face. He spun around, kneeing the girl in the stomach. She glared at him, and before he could deliver his next blow, one of them threw him against the wall. He glowered, and pulled himself back up.

_Motherfucking kill the bastards. _

Gamzee didn't bother to ignore his voice this time. These stupid little shits think they're gonna beat him up for loving Tavra? They think they got a lesson to teach him? Well, they can teach it to them when they're in a twitching heap on the ground, like the _motherfucking scum _that they are. He grabbed the girl by the shoulders and shoved her into the opposite wall of the alleyway, her head knocking against the brick. Two boys pulled him off of her, he threw one of onto the ground, and grabbed the other by the collar, and tossed him into the girl. He knelt down and punched the girl in the face. Once, twice, three times, four. Blood ran from her nose, and she screamed, punching and kicking and scratching at him enough to make him bleed. He ignored it, until one of the guys picked him up and threw him backwards. Falling to the ground, he was kicked. A second boy came over and joined him. The remaining two were hanging over the girl, who was swearing loudly and clasping her face.

At some point around the fifth or sixth blow to his side, Gamzee relinquished and forgot about fighting back. He curled up and waited for them to be done, doing his best to block out the pain. His initial rage was replaced by a strange mix of apathy and worthlessness.

After a while, once he was sufficiently bruised and cut, a boy leaned down. "Look at this shit," he grabbed Gamzee and jerked him up by the arm. Gamzee staggered to his feet, then collapsed so he was hanging by his suspended arm, breathing shakily. "Fucking purple blood. What a freak." He was dropped to the ground, face down. The group disappeared without another word.

He sat like that, on his stomach in the alleyway for an amount of time that only the Messiahs knew. Time seemed to fade away, and it was just one singular moment, him laying, hurting and bleeding alone in the alleyway. After a while, they pain grew worse from him trying to move. "Tavra…," he whispered to nobody. "I need Tavra." He laid back down, face down, waiting for it all to go away.


	18. Missing

**Tavra**

Tavra glanced nervously at the clock, tapping her foot. It was five minutes after she was supposed to leave. Maybe Gamzee wasn't coming. She slung her backpack over her shoulders, feeling jittery. She tried to calm down. He was probably just sick, or staying home. He was fine. She took a deep breath, called goodbye to her mother, and started out to school.

On the way down the halls she was greeted by the normal amount of glares. But she noticed them more today when she was alone. Did so many people really hate her? She looked down and continued on her way to homeroom. She grew more worried. If Gamzee was hurt, how would she know? He didn't have a phone, and he didn't ever let her come into his neighborhood. She chewed at her nails, keeping her head down. She was just worrying.

But he'd never been absent before. Not even when he had a cold or anything. She walked down the hallway to her first class, feeling sick. "Tavra!" She turned around to see Nepeta trotting towards her, smiling. She started talking about the painting she was working on it art, before she trailed off. "Tavra? Are you alright?" The other girl snapped back into reality.

"What? Oh... uh... y-yeah. I'm fine."

"What's wrong?" Nepeta pressed, knowing the brunette too well. Tavra shook her head. "Tell me!"

"It's just...," Tavra sighed. "G-Gamzee. He's not here today a-and I guess I'm just probably o-overreacting." Her voice was low and she fumbled over the words, feeling stupid. All the same, she couldn't help but worry. She decided that if Gamzee was at school tomorrow, she'd make him show her his house. If she could just go there after school... that would make her feel better.

"Oh, he's probably just sick! Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be back okay?" Nepeta said hastily. "Oh, I have gym. See you at lunch, okay?"

"Yeah," Tavra said quietly, heading off.

The day stubbornly refused to end. Time pulled on slowly. Tavra tried to push it out of her mind. But her eyes kept darting back to Gamzee's empty seat in her classes. She had hardly realized how quickly her life had come to revolve around the boy. She hadn't noticed how her self-confidence had grown with him around until she was vulnerable again.

At lunch, she sat, waiting for Nepeta. They ate, and Nepeta talked about things that Tavra was happy to sit and listen to. Near the end of lunch, Equius spoke up. "Tavra, where would Gamzee happen to be?" Tavra swallowed.

"I don't know, he just didn't come in today," she mumbled. "I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow." Equius remained silent, quickly looking back down at his food. He opened his mouth, then snapped it shut again. "Equius? Is something wrong?"

**Gamzee**

Gamzee sat quietly, his head resting in his hands, hunched over on a stained white bench. The clock in the room kept a steady beat. He gripped at his head, trying to block out the sound. Tick, tick, tick. He scowled, and shifted on the bench, glancing up at the clock. He wondered if he could smash the motherfucking thing at his height.

He walked over to the front of the small enclosed area, pressing his face against the plexiglass that kept him confined. It was tinted, so he could hardly see through it. When he'd been on the other side, it had been perfectly clear. He looked up at the clock. It'd been nearly twelve hours now. He groaned and slumped down on the bench. Where was Karkat? Oh, right. He probably had no idea Gamzee was here.

Earlier, around what the clock marked at three in the morning he had a fit induced by his voice, slamming his fists against the plexiglass until they were bruised, kicking at it, growling out every threat and obscenity he could think of. Now, he'd accepted he'd probably be here for a while. If he hadn't laid around in the dirt for so long, maybe these motherfuckers wouldn't have found him. He tried to run, but he hadn't known what had been injured and what hadn't and running from the cops with his entire body telling him to fall the hell back down didn't work so well.

From what he'd seen in Karkat's old movies, he was supposed to be getting a phone call or something. But he hadn't. Maybe they didn't do that anymore. Or maybe it was just racism. In the morning, a small slot opened in the bottom of the plexiglass and a tray filled with some greyish mass that was probably oatmeal with a spoon. He clawed at the slot, but it had been shut up tight again. That was the closest he'd had to interaction since he'd been arrested.

Assault and battery? Why didn't they seem to care about the fact that he was clearly the only one severely injured enough to be rendered unable to move? Why didn't they care when he protested that he'd been surrounded by five creeps? Oh, right. Because he was the scum of society and humans seemed pretty eager to get rid of the whole troll mess. And what better way than to imprison him for nothing.

Around noon, the door slid open. He sat up. "Karkat!" He cried, springing up. The door slid shut.

"What the hell, Gamzee?" Karkat cried immediately.

"Bro, it wasn't me!" Gamzee pleaded instantly. "I got motherfucking attacked by a bunch of antis!" Karkat groaned.

"How am I supposed to get you out of this one?" He slumped his shoulders and shrugged.

"What if I don't ever get to see Tavra again or something, bro?" Gamzee muttered. Karkat scowled.

"You're locked up for a shitty-ass reason for who knows how long and you're worried about your human chick?" Gamzee nodded indignantly. There was a pause. "Are you really that upset?" He nodded again. "Maybe I can see what I can do about telling her. But if I get my ass kicked, I'm personally going to do the same to you." Gamzee grinned and hugged Karkat.

"Aw, man thank you, Karkat! You're the best bro in the world, man!" He squeezed his brother tightly. Karkat sighed and shook his head.

"This is shit, Gamzee. I'm sorry kid."

"It's fine. I'm glad you're here."

"I'll getcha out."

"I know ya will."


End file.
